Let it Go, Let it Go!!!! My Brain has ran away!!! Thinking Never Bothered Me Anyway.

Since my silly brain won’t turn off today!! Here are a few of my thoughts. Many of my friends have made are making “Go Bags” The have many names, but they are pretty much in case of emergency packs. My in case of emergency plan is apparently find one of these friends and survive. I don’t think the Dude would ever let anything happen to me and he’s got things pretty much down. Not quite like Georgia does.... Georgia has several packs, bags, buckets and shelves of preparedness. She wouldn’t let me die, but I think if worse came to worse she might eat me or use me as bait... Just kidding.... or am I??? 

Thought of this amazing idea when someday I become a mommy. (Nope nothing in muh belly) But I thought this was right up my alley and didn’t want to forget it!! I wanted to write little thought bubbles for what I think the little person might be thinking, etc . I thought it would be cute and I could save them for a baby book someday.
Cool idea right!?

So Easter is almost here and I love, love Easter candy, I know that God and the Easter Bunny don’t have much to do with each other, but I do thank God for the yummies candy of the year. I really love Cadbury Minis and Starburst jellybeans I’m pretty sure I just made myself sick on them a few minutes ago.... gosh they are so good!!

Got to watch Frozen last night with Miss Georgia, which was my reward for making it through The Conjuring. Which was pretty good, but it freaks me out that Philip kept meowing at random things after that.....
freaky...






Random thoughts and sticky pots,
Amanda

Because I'm happy, clap along if you are happy too!

Yes I made all of these... YUMM-O!!!

Ahhh life. Today is National Pi Day and I and well lots of people, but mainly 3 other people in my office a) love pie b) love Dean Winchester who loves pie = us loving pie. (I know that it actually has to do with math but that's no fun....)

So I made 6 pies including 4 quiche, 1 double chocolate truffle pie (The Deen brother's recipe yum!) and a apple streusel pie.

I'm staring at the Apple Streusel one right now but have to wait till 3:14 to devour it..... with other people... I mean I'm not eating people.. but pie... anyways.

So I wanted to talk about The Dude, he said something the other day and it has been on my mind and he answered it. But I wanted to remember what he said. He's sort of a quiet guy and if he says something it's usually pretty significant unlike me who would run around babbling things like "oh my microwave is smiling at me!" (it does I'll show you sometime...)

But we were having a conversation and it was pretty much me telling him that I really love him and that it scares me a little. I haven't really loved anyone but JustAnUglyMonkey and I never thought I would feel this way and it feels very different, but it is love. This love is kind and we take such good care of each other. This love is thoughtful and I don't know a good word for it, safe but that sounds like it isn't passionate. And it is passionate, it's like a trust I can trust him and I know he wouldn't hurt me, it's not built into him, he has a sort of old soul like me. We have a whole set of values that are alike. Granted he's been a little more out in the world than I have, but we both have pasts and we are in the same place now a common ground, we want the same things.  And I know this because he told me so, I was over  joyed and calmed to hear the things that he wanted for our future and that he wasn't going anywhere, he really meant it. I could see him as my husband, as the father of my children, he is so loving and a hard worker. He said if we have girls we have to try for a boy. I would love to have as many as I can and we want. I would love to see what a baby looks like in his big hands. I wonder if they would have blue eyes like him and maybe my dark hair, maybe they would have green eyes. They would be good kids, we would read to them and teach them manners and play with them. They would have lots of love. They would also eat well ha ha.  We both like to work out.... except when its cold... but we would go on walks and get them outside and play. We love each other  and we would be examples of what love should look like for them.

We talked more he thought that things in life happen for a reason, he's never been married or had kids and he's been single for 2 years now and he's grown up a lot, I've done a lot of growing also. And what is beautiful is The Dude is just the type of guy that is a man, he's got his stuff together that doesn't mean I won't make him soup and rub his back when he's sick, but it does mean that I don't have to tell him how to treat me. I'm a lady and I'm the one he loves, we treat each other with respect and love and selflessness and he knows this and that's how I'm treated and how I treat him. We play and joke and dream together, we think of each others needs and they get met. It's what I've always wanted, it's what I always thought love should be.

I'm excited that life is moving forward again, it's scary sure anything new kind of is and there is always going to be my dad whom no one is going to be good enough for me, heck even I'm not good enough for me to him ha ha. I'm hoping it will last, I'm hoping someday my house will become our house like we would like to, and we can fill it with little people and work on all the neat projects we have thought up for it. Starting off with the garden, then the deck and fire pit, finishing the basement theater room and bath/laundry.

It's fun to dream again, a whole new world and life. It's different than the one I'm leaving, I had so many thoughts on how I wanted that life to go, I had so many dreams and I loved them I think I was so sad at never having that future, never seeing those children, never having them go stay with Mama Monkey, no more Christmases there. But that is okay those were good memories that I will always have. Now I have to make new ones and I don't know what my babies names will be, I really like the name Max. There are going to be new Christmas traditions and new family things. New friends and adventures. My story isn't over it's just getting better and we aren't even to the good part yet :)

Bye bye loves, keep on dreaming the best is yet to come!

Let them Eat Peacock Cake!!

This weekend we had a fun wedding shower for my soon-to-be cousin! I got to make the cake and be game master! I don't have many images of the party I think my aunt took those, but here are some of the cake and the Bridezilla veil!!

Sleepy Eskimo Kisses!

I absolutely love this scarf..... so yeah.... I like scarfs....

So life lately! I think being on anti-anxiety medication has REALLY helped with my allergy stuff. I don’t worry about it quite as much. My throat still bugs me but at least I know that part of that is my vocal tonsils being swollen and well the rest of it is just my new normal on how my throat feels. At least I sleep now without worrying too much about it. BUT it does make me lazier., it’s really horrible. I’m not the most productive person all the time any ways. I totally have my days when it’s like BOOM everything is clean and amazing! I always take my dishes to the kitchen and I throw my trash away yadda, yadda, but do those dishes get done or put in the dishwasher immediately? No..... don’t get me started on laundry, I don’t own a lot of clothes just because I like them, I also own a lot because I had to do laundry all the time. I sometimes wonder how long I could go without doing laundry and still have clean clothes.... I should test this someday..... Any ways! Yeah my poor house is suffering the new Eh-Amanda. The cold isn’t helping I really don’t feel like moving once I’m under a blanket. It can wait I think... or I’ll get a second wind... yeah.....

Let’s talk about a boy! Let us call him My Dude He would like this name. We love to cook! His dad used to cook for the country club here in town and I think he picked up a few things. He has a lot of good ideas any ways. We make a lot of things together, more so when it is warm. We are both sort of home bodies so neither one of us likes the other getting out in the yuck, but he does come pick me up when it is so that makes me happy.  We’ve done roasts and lots of chicken, pork chops, tacos, burgers, spaghetti, and stromboli. I make him potato soup and bread and desserts from time to time. I love being with him in the kitchen, he’ll come up and hug me or steal a kiss while I have my hands full and when he walks by he’ll run his hand across my back. We laugh a lot and steal bites of things. It’s a lot of fun! Then we curl up with a TV show or a movie. It cracks me up that he likes the British version of Top Gear. He records a few different shows for me since I don’t have a DVR anymore and will watch them with me, that’s really nice. He thinks of me and buys me really nice things or little things that remind him of me. I like that. He takes good care of me and wants to help me with things. I’ve turned a little thick headed and believe and anyone can leave me at any moment so I have to learn how to do things by myself so that’s been a little bit of a struggle for me.... I have a garbage disposal issue going on now that I’ve been ignoring.... may have to ask for help... not happy about it. learning to ask for help again is hard. Learning to trust again is hard. Very hard, I didn’t think it would be this bad, but here is a perfect wonderful man that really loves me and is amazing and good that I have so much fun with and really care about and in the back of my head is this little evil voice that says..... until he doesn’t. Which is a total discredit to him. He is a good guy worthy to be trusted, but then again I’ve always been one that likes someone who sticks in there, now I’m just smarter, he’s never given me a reason to doubt him, in fact he’s added so many reason’s to trust him. I think this little evil voice will fade someday, someday when I know, someday when I totally forget the pain of betrayal.
Do I love My Dude? Yes. I do, I used to say it to my phone before I ever got to say it to him. And when he said it to me I couldn’t stop smiling, someone loves me, he loves me, this good-good man loves me!

And I love that he Eskimo kisses me! I love rubbing our silly noses together I’d always imagined Eskimo kisses and now I have them and so much more, someone to hold me and hold my hand, someone to lay my head on and put my feet on. I miss him when I go home. I think about things sometimes like we have 2 houses, what if down the line we need to have one house? Whose house will we live at? Mine is larger if someday we have family, but maybe he wouldn’t like my house and would want a whole new house? My fur babies love him, but will he love my fur babies and all of their fur and they talk and jump on everything and sit on you. I guess those are natural worries and wonders. I wonder if he thinks about these things. I guess time will just tell. But it’s a little fun to dream again. I’ve had what I thought I wanted and that didn’t work out. Now the future is open, who knows what’s next?

All my love and a wiggle in your walk and a giggle in your talk!
Amanda