Sleepy Eskimo Kisses!

I absolutely love this scarf..... so yeah.... I like scarfs....

So life lately! I think being on anti-anxiety medication has REALLY helped with my allergy stuff. I don’t worry about it quite as much. My throat still bugs me but at least I know that part of that is my vocal tonsils being swollen and well the rest of it is just my new normal on how my throat feels. At least I sleep now without worrying too much about it. BUT it does make me lazier., it’s really horrible. I’m not the most productive person all the time any ways. I totally have my days when it’s like BOOM everything is clean and amazing! I always take my dishes to the kitchen and I throw my trash away yadda, yadda, but do those dishes get done or put in the dishwasher immediately? No..... don’t get me started on laundry, I don’t own a lot of clothes just because I like them, I also own a lot because I had to do laundry all the time. I sometimes wonder how long I could go without doing laundry and still have clean clothes.... I should test this someday..... Any ways! Yeah my poor house is suffering the new Eh-Amanda. The cold isn’t helping I really don’t feel like moving once I’m under a blanket. It can wait I think... or I’ll get a second wind... yeah.....

Let’s talk about a boy! Let us call him My Dude He would like this name. We love to cook! His dad used to cook for the country club here in town and I think he picked up a few things. He has a lot of good ideas any ways. We make a lot of things together, more so when it is warm. We are both sort of home bodies so neither one of us likes the other getting out in the yuck, but he does come pick me up when it is so that makes me happy.  We’ve done roasts and lots of chicken, pork chops, tacos, burgers, spaghetti, and stromboli. I make him potato soup and bread and desserts from time to time. I love being with him in the kitchen, he’ll come up and hug me or steal a kiss while I have my hands full and when he walks by he’ll run his hand across my back. We laugh a lot and steal bites of things. It’s a lot of fun! Then we curl up with a TV show or a movie. It cracks me up that he likes the British version of Top Gear. He records a few different shows for me since I don’t have a DVR anymore and will watch them with me, that’s really nice. He thinks of me and buys me really nice things or little things that remind him of me. I like that. He takes good care of me and wants to help me with things. I’ve turned a little thick headed and believe and anyone can leave me at any moment so I have to learn how to do things by myself so that’s been a little bit of a struggle for me.... I have a garbage disposal issue going on now that I’ve been ignoring.... may have to ask for help... not happy about it. learning to ask for help again is hard. Learning to trust again is hard. Very hard, I didn’t think it would be this bad, but here is a perfect wonderful man that really loves me and is amazing and good that I have so much fun with and really care about and in the back of my head is this little evil voice that says..... until he doesn’t. Which is a total discredit to him. He is a good guy worthy to be trusted, but then again I’ve always been one that likes someone who sticks in there, now I’m just smarter, he’s never given me a reason to doubt him, in fact he’s added so many reason’s to trust him. I think this little evil voice will fade someday, someday when I know, someday when I totally forget the pain of betrayal.
Do I love My Dude? Yes. I do, I used to say it to my phone before I ever got to say it to him. And when he said it to me I couldn’t stop smiling, someone loves me, he loves me, this good-good man loves me!

And I love that he Eskimo kisses me! I love rubbing our silly noses together I’d always imagined Eskimo kisses and now I have them and so much more, someone to hold me and hold my hand, someone to lay my head on and put my feet on. I miss him when I go home. I think about things sometimes like we have 2 houses, what if down the line we need to have one house? Whose house will we live at? Mine is larger if someday we have family, but maybe he wouldn’t like my house and would want a whole new house? My fur babies love him, but will he love my fur babies and all of their fur and they talk and jump on everything and sit on you. I guess those are natural worries and wonders. I wonder if he thinks about these things. I guess time will just tell. But it’s a little fun to dream again. I’ve had what I thought I wanted and that didn’t work out. Now the future is open, who knows what’s next?

All my love and a wiggle in your walk and a giggle in your talk!
Amanda