Royals!!!

How in the world did I forget to talk about a super big thing this year?!??!?
The Royals are in the world Series against the Giants. We haven't gone to the World Series since 1985 I was 2 I think I have a tiny sweatshirt from back then. Go Royals!!!

Well we are on day 2 of stop light pills and I'm down 4 pounds WOOT! for Records I got up to 204 I weighed myself on Tuesday and now I'm at 200. I promised myself last year I would never be that large again and here I am, but it was not for long. Tonight I have cardio too so I'm going to go work it  - work it. I've decided that this is always going to be a battle I fight. My family is large not only in numbers but in size, but at least I always recognize that and don't just get complacent to stay that way. I think I'm always going to have slip ups the important thing is to get back up and try. Even if it is with a little help. The motivation of actually loosing not just doing all this work and staying the same is really nice. People like results. I'm hoping to be back down in the 170's (what I was last year) by my birthday which is in..... 16 days..... so that's in 16 days and if I lose a little over a pound a day I'll be to 179-ish by then. that would be really nice and I don't think it would be crazy. But all I can do is try :) 

I just have to remember water, water, water!!!

Adios loves!!!

it's crazy amount of photos update on life time!!!

That's life, what all the people say.....

This summer has just flown by!!  Well lets see.... I’ve got a garden that the Dude and his brother and sister-in-law helped put in, it put out TONS of summer squash and how it’s putting out lots of yummy tomatoes. I’ve loved growing thing all summer and eating and giving them away. We have bought something very beautiful that is hiding in my house waiting for the perfect time/a talk with my dad. My wonderful guy has moved into the house and his house went up for rent. We’ve cleaned and reorganized the house, the basement looks so neat turned into man-cave/gym. I got rid of tons of things which really helped and I’m excited for the next big project I have my craft/office room that will be fun! The dude made me a bookshelf for my books and got me a neat calendar/cork-board to put up in there. When I’m ready we are going to get peg board to hang other things on :)

So life has been pretty good! I’m hesitant some days to look at my life and say I’m so happy because it seems like the moment I do the world crashes down, but it feels like that might be changing. I think now I can say it. I’m happy, I’m so so happy. I have my amazing friends and family that are always there for me and love me, I have my wonderful home and the most amazing man to share it with. I thank God for all I have, I know that some people might have a problem with the Dude moving in before we are married, which we are going to be, but I think sometimes it’s a condition of your heart a promise you’ve made that other person, it’s us forever. Plus being divorced and almost 31 I really don’t care, I’ve had so much heartache in my life time that all I want to be is happy and I am and it feels so good, and my heart is good. I am safe I can breathe, he is my home.

Let me tell you a few things about this guy. Everyday he is wonderful, it’s like telling each-other that we love each-other never gets old. I am always thankful for him, he is helpful, he takes out the trash, he does dishes, laundry and house stuff and he just does it, it’s funny you know how some girls nag people etc, which I’m not good at anyway, he just does things it’s amazing and I’m so used to doing things forever that it’s  nice and I always make sure I thank him. It’s like we take care of each-other. I am always thinking of him and he of me, what can I do to help them today? What would they like? What would make them smile? It’s what I always thought love should be like and when it’s both of you working together like that and naturally, WOW just wow. Not that it’s like that every moment, we have us time etc, but it’s good and so loving. He’s so affectionate and that is big with me, I love being kissed and hugged, I love having my had held or somehow a touch or a caress. This is my guy, I love him, he loves me. And I never feel unloved, I never feel like I’m second. I’m it. I want to grow old with this man, I want to see him hold our babies and someday become a grandpa and hold and spoil those babies, I want to see those smile lines on his face grow deeper and deeper.

I’ve held on to a lot of my past life thinking in some way I would be betraying something, I’m not sure. I’ve held on to lots of hate in my heart for being wronged. I’ve struggled with what is in my heart of being a good person and wanting to be the bigger person and the scar that malice and anger built up. I’ve been slowly but surely letting it go. I still struggle time to time asking myself a lot of whys? Then I remind myself that I am wonderful I am loving, giving, talented, I’ve got a good heart and so many wonderful attributes, that it’s okay. It takes it’s toll on your self-esteem I think, and that’s hard for me since I’ve grown up being the chubby girl or the goofy one, things now that I’ve grown into, in my opinion I’m more beautiful at 30 than I ever was when I was younger. My curves fit me and are womanly, my sense of humour has gotten me though so much in my life and has let me live on the sunny side of the street. I love who I am, I love me, sure I will always think I could lose a few or tighten something ha ha, but that’s just part of being a gal and as long as my Dude loves the way I’m put together and he really does I’m good with it :) It’s taken awhile and I don’t think I’m totally done, but I feel good, I’m okay.

Thank you God, so much for all you have given me, thank you for being by my side and calming my heart, I don’t know if it does matter to you or not if he lives with me, but I know you love him too, I know that you know that we love each-other and will always be faithful to each-other, I believe that we were always meant for each-other and I know that none of this has taken you by surprise. I pray that somehow I mattered that my past made a difference and had a purpose for both of us. I love you, I always have and always will, even when I don’t do everything right, I love you. Please always keep me and my loved ones safe and watch over them.

And Now for some pictures!!

The Phil helping me sort thing to make room for the dude.

Flag cake I made for the 4th of July it was pretty awesome!

Throwing my good friend a bachelorette party, made the invites, I think they are pretty cute!

Me!

Super yummy sandwich I made from home grown tomatoes!!

A few of my veggies from the garden.

My perfect Tomato!

Peace, sprout and clean outs!
-me

My Grandpa Said Keep Looking Up

I have a feeling of completeness.
The sun shines in my life when dark clouds had taken over.
The rays ripping through the gray, till there is no more doubt.
I am blessed, I am so loved.
I love, I trust, I am safe.
I see the beauty in the everyday, the great and the small.
I am growing; growing to know that I know nothing but this:
be happy, be kind, be loving, be strong.
Kiss every time you have the opportunity to.
Never miss the chance to say I love you.
Snuggle your babies and your fur babies just a little bit longer.
While money is helpful, moments make you rich.
Go out and turn your face to the sunshine, keep looking up.

Fun Afternoon Jaunt

Hey Sweets!

I had fun afternoon. It's so beautiful. I love when  I can get a lot done in an hour. I shopped all locally own places which is what I like to do if I can and if I can afford it. But! Got things for the 4th of July and more spices for the Dude and some ice cream!

Driving was nice I got to think about life and just smile. Last night I scooped up Georgia after work and we were going to watch shows and have snacks, which we did get to do, but when we pulled up to the house there was the Dude and my dad just hanging out talking in my driveway. It was so sweet that I almost wanted to lap the block and not go home. But alas I broke up their little  pow wow. Georgia and I popped out of the Jeep and we all talked for a little bit. Apparently the Dude came over to mow and the lawn mower quit and my Poppi was just driving by and he stopped to help. It was pretty special to watch them together made me happy. Dad loves to help with projects and the Dude does too. lol they bond over my silly always quitting lawn mower. Good guys them two :)

I'm so happy about being off this afternoon I'm going to get house stuff done and baking done It's going to be amazing!!!

Ahhh :)  I'm still at 195, I'm hoping to get some more workouts in, but at least it's holding and not growing :) I'm not juicing this week due to the holiday, but I might pick it up again next week :)

Have a safe and wonderful 4th of July!

-Amanda

Phil says no need to clean! Lets nap!

Day #4 Clean Eating-ish

Hola!

No loss today, but that is okay, feeling good. Had fun last night talking about finances with the Dude.
He is very talented with money, and technically so am I. Knowing and doing are 2 different things ha ha. But I was very honest with him about my bills and spending etc. I know that a lot of couples fight about finances. I think that if we are good with our money we will never have to worry about that and we will never want for anything. That is a wonderful thing! lol I'm getting old. Financial security makes me feel good. But it always has, I think it makes everyone feel better when they know they will have clothes on their backs, roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

I love talking about when he comes to live at the house. What a change that is going to be. I've ruled my roost for quite sometime now. But it's funny I've gone 2 years now without putting new things up on the walls and it hasn't bothered me it, it's like it's been waiting. A clean slate. I have the weirdest connection to the house. It keeps me safe, I keep it safe, we have a deal, we have fun. It's a good house. I can't wait to snuggle up to him and watch TV. Make food in our kitchen, do projects together, play games, workout, go for walks and the zillion other things I can't even think of.

It's fun now telling each other this is how I am... I like to read a lot if I really love a book I will ignore everything else in the world and read. He likes to decompress when he gets home, which I think is a thing with a lot of people. I like to do that sometimes. Which will be no problem, I get home after him so he'd have the house all to himself for a few hours anyways.

I like to clean in the morning, I don't know if I've told him that, but I'm a machine I can get done more in a few hours than I ever get done in the afternoon weirdest thing.

I like doing random craft things, I sew, I bake I croquet. I really love napping with the cats....

But fun to talk about the future :)

Day #3 Clean Eating-ish

I woke up early today! I did a load of laundry and crawled back into bed and played a game on my phone and snuggled with my kittens. I know I should have ran on the treadmill but it was so nice and peaceful so who cares.  ha ha, got up and climbed on the scale down another pound 195.
I'm happy since yesterday I decided my brain was not functioning well enough to layout 4 publications and everything else I needed to do so I ate lunch, lunch. I went to the store and bought all the makings for BLTs and yum-o! I feel good about life and it's sort of homemade so it's not like eating greasy cheeseburger for lunch or a chili dog and french fries. I think the BLT is my favorite sandwich anyways. But it helped a lot get me reorganized and rolling so yeah sandwich!!!

Did something very fun after work :) but it's a secret ohhhh muhahahahaha! So keep an eye out in the future for some neat things!!!

Okay back to land of layouts loves!

Day #2 Clean Eating-ish

Hopped up this morning and sleepily wandered to the scale 196 woot! lots of fruit and marathon bathroom visits and one pound down. I know it's like water weight, but at least it's down.

Start of day 2, hungry but it's okay. I had a Kind bar and that helped. I have lots of work to do so that will keep my mind running and hopefully not towards cheeseburgers ha ha. I've been actually wanting chicken salad and apples so not too bad. It always cracks me up what I end up wanting.

Had a lot of fun yesterday talking to my mom and dad. My mom kills me she's so funny. It was nice to talk to my dad about the Dude and get the ball rolling towards the future. I also got to go talk to the Dude, I really like talking to him about the future. :)

alright love bugs! working time!

Day #1 Clean eating

Ello,

Last year I did a couple of juice fasts. I'm hopping on that boat again. It really does make me feel better and I drop some pounds and I've picked up a few so need to whittle those away. So I'll be honest when I jumped on the scale this morning it was crazy I think I gained like 6 pounds over the weekend!!! which makes sense I sort of did a little last meal thing all week long, but I've got 21 pounds to lose now to get me back down to where I was last summer. I CAN DO IT!!! I CAN KEEP MY HOME CLEAN, I CAN KEEP MY YARD AND GARDEN LOOKING GOOD, I CAN GET A WORKOUT IN EVERYDAY AND I CAN WORK 3 JOBS AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR MY LOVE, MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS! I CAN!!!  That's a nice little pump up for Monday right?!!?!

But I've altered it a little bit. I love these Kind Bars and the Dude just bought me some so I'm adding those in with my green machine and fruit smoothies. But lots of water at least 3 of my 32 oz cups at work, hot tea with honey, but no soda.

So here it is drumroll please! my starting embarrassing weight today is 197. ekk! I swore I'd never get over 180 and sitting on my buns is driving me crazy and I can't fit into my cute pants, so off the weight goes so long sucker!!

A little bit about love

I think love is a lot about meeting each other’s needs. I am amazed everyday we think of each other. I’m in love with a man that is a lot like me, but not ha ha.  While I am silly and loud and outgoing, he’s quite and intelligent. I mean not that I’m not smart, but he’s logical and has lots of good ideas on how to do things and money. My talents are more crafty and well I am helpful. But we both think of each other’s needs and likes. He knows I love to bake and got me the most beautiful kitchen aid. I’ve always wanted one, but never said a thing. He takes care of my yard, I’ve never asked he just does, what a wonderful man, he got a blister on his hand from digging out large weeds in my yard so I washed his dishes so the soap wouldn’t sting him. He can’t eat gluten it hurts his stomach so I’ve been learning how to make gluten free meals and baked goods. I’ve been trying to eat gluten free myself to make it easier. These are just recent things, but almost everyday we care for each other. Love is gentle and passionate. I want to hold on to this love, it makes me so happy, I love loving him. I love his head rubbing against mine, I love him holding me and wanting to hold me just a little bit longer. I love the calm he brings me in my hectic world. 

ahhhh just happy :)

Smiles for miles love bugs!

Amanda

Say Cheese Weekend!!

I declare this weekend not only Mother’s Day, but Cheese Weekend!!!
Tonight I shall make my blonde a yummy Mexican meal! (Tacos, hey it’s what she wanted) The Dude is making his famous cheese dip for her. Yummy!!! I in turn shall maketh cheeseith cake-ith for his Motherith. And the Dude will make this super delicious Italian chicken thing that we’ve made like 5 times and it doesn’t have a name other than “That really good Italian chicken pasta thing with the special tomatoes.” I’m going to attempt to make some tasty Gluten Free garlic parmesan cheese bread to go with it.
See people lots of cheese! Bring on the prunes!! ha ha.
So bad daughter confession. I had NOOOO idea that my mom’s favourite dessert is Angel Food cake. Which only makes sense because a) she’s from Heaven and b) we had it around the house ALL the time growing up, never really questioned it. I love it too, it’s refreshing and yummy. So there you have it I had not idea until yesterday.

Whew here’s to cookin’ it up this weekend!
Cheese Mates!
Amanda

Rant

UGH, so I think I’m superwoman sometimes.  You already know I work 3 jobs. There is a method for my madness.  Maybe not so much a method, but reasons.

• A) I have a home that I love, AND can’t sell for another year or I owe the government $8000. And I don’t want to sell it because it would still make a good home for a family and I think me and this house deserve to see good like that, it’s kind of like I made a promise to it and I have to keep that promise. And in all actuality it’s NOT a bad price to pay for a home at all many people pay for apartments close to what I own my home for. The value just keeps going up so it’s a good investment. House = amazing, love, safe. I love my home.
• B) I could make the payment with my 2 jobs I previously had, but I can’t afford to eat or put gas in Jeep-Jeep, without monthly help from others.
• C) I don’t like owing people that I already owe so much.
• D) I’m 30!!! I should be able to handle myself by myself, all my decisions have gotten me to this point in my life and I believe people pay for their actions in one way or another and this is just the way it is.
• E) I’ve now got doctor’s bill out my wazoo for my allergic reaction stuff, so 3rd job came in with perfect timing.

SOOO long alphabetical reasons short my new 3rd job pays well and I live comfortably and am able to cover everything and still have fun when I do have time, heck soon after doctor’s bills I’ll even be able to save a nice little chunk. That means money in the bank if anything should happen, money for projects on the house, money for gifts, money for the future. I like that idea, that’s why I keep working all the listed reasons and all below. I have to, that’s pretty much plain and simple. And while no one really HAS to do anything, many people do whatever they want. I feel like I should practice what I preach, I want people to work hard and take care of themselves, well I should too. And I do and I can lift my tired head high.

Downside of all of this is my poor head and body, I try to go to bed early when I can, usually that’s no problem my head hits the pillow I’m soooo out. I’m only about a month in so maybe it will just take a little bit longer to get accustomed to it all. I know I can’t do them all forever I just can’t, but finding that balance and timing is going to be something. I like all my jobs and I’m pretty sure they all like me. So the work is not the problem at all, isn’t that crazy?!? How blessed am I? I don’t have any job that I don’t actually like. But it’s my time, making time for this amazing man in my life that there aren’t even words how much I care about and love. He’s simply amazing, in the total sense of the word, something of awe. My family, I love them so much and am so excited to see them this weekend for my cousin’s wedding, but I know I don’t get to see my mom and dad as much as they would like, but I just get so tired. My Georgia I’ve actually made a date with her I got a free pizza we are going to load that baby up with tasty tasty things this week and eat and laugh and watch TV.  LOL what am I going so crazy about?! ha ha Poor Mandy has all of her needs met, too many people to love and to love her. I just need to remember that I need to force my brain to not go to the Id, to not go into protective mode, which I’m pretty sure it’s been doing that so much lately, I have extreme ADD going on or nothing at all. You know how people get pregnancy brain or wedding brain? I have I work a lot, but still have a life brain. I work alot brain is a machine, that’s what it does work, but it over compensates, it can turn out “product” at an amazing rate, I’ve gotten so much done, but it also worries too much, it it’s always on but not very clear, it screams give me a goal, give me an end game, a task then it overloads and we have meltdown and want to sleep and then we sleep and wake up refreshed and feeling like an idiot sometimes. Why was I so mean? Why was I so impatient? Why was I so short with that person? Why did I put my keys in the fridge? Do the cats have water? catsss mmmm snuggle, snuggle, just let me kiss you awwwww catssssss.

I keep feeling like I have to do this myself, I don’t need anyone to save me, I don’t need to ask for help unless I really need it. I’m stubborn, I have to do it for myself, by myself just so I know I can. So I can have people in my life because I want them and they want to be around me. I want to be a woman of value because I can stand on my own two feet. I want to prove that I can take care of myself, that I could do whatever it takes to take care of a family.  Just finding a balance and I'm still growing as a person, I don't think we ever stop, but I want to be a good one.  Maybe I just needed to write it out to see it, to get it off my chest. lol I do that a lot, unload the  brain!!
End of Rant/unload

God, you have given me great abilities and talents, you have met all my needs financially and emotionally. I thank you for all the wonderful people in my life, I thank you for seeing me in my darkest hours,  I thank you for healing my body and my mind and giving me strength  when I am weak. Continue to be with me, I know I don’t go to church a lot, but no place feels like home, and I know one will soon, but you know I always love you always think of you and thank you everyday. I can’t imagine what I would be without you. Please give my mind an extra dose of awareness of knowlege, please guard my thoughts and keep my mouth from saying unuseful things. You are my God and you are in me, you will never leave me or forsake me, I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me, and not only can I do all things, but I claim  I can do all things with a smile, with a kind heart, with love and wisdom.
I love you and I thank you for all these things, In Jesus name Amen.

ahhhh I feel better love bugs! I need to remember to use my words more to write them out, I find a weird comfort and peace in words. Helps me reason out my cluttered mind.

Naps and mud flaps!
Amanda

To Clean or Not to Clean! To Clean.... but after I take a nap and watch a movie ....

So I do believe that I’m a little stressed. I have cut/ tore all my nails down to the quick. It’s okay I’m getting into a rhythm so I’m on the down hill side of it. I’m able to get up in the morning I’ve got a routine pretty much down. I get up me and the furr babies take our medicine/vitamins, have breakfast, shower, and pretty much run out the door.
The Dude has to work a lot today and tomorrow, I hope it doesn’t wear him out. Poor guy was getting a cold or allergies or something. But he’s still pretty nice to snuggle with. It’s like a drug, I just love to curl up next to him.
House cleaning starts.... tonight... but mostly tomorrow!! I’m going to knock soooo much stuff out and get so much done it’s going to be amazing!! ha ha ha. It just really needs to be done. And hopefully get to watch a movie I’m hoping to grab Saving Mr. Banks tonight or tomorrow, and A nap I really want a nap or to sleep in, but I do my best cleaning in the morning so a nap it might be.
Then fun day with the girls on Sunday!!!! I love when I have the weekend off!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!

Happy Cat and that's o' Fact! Friday, bye!
-Amanda
napppp..... nnnnaaaaaapppppppp

Smiles and random love-y dove-y stuff

So 5 years ago (Yes I'm 30 geesh I do what I want) I posted this List of what I want in a man, in this blog http://www.amandaforthemasses.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-dont-think-we-should-be-friends-ah-i.html

My Grown Up 25 Year Old List of What I Want In a Man

• Loves me
• Loves God
• Handsome to me
• Laid back
• Great sense of Humor/ funny/ goofy
• Kind
• Good to his and my family
• Romantic
• Wants to marry me
• Wants kids
• Keeps me safe
• Holds my hand
• Not too clingy
• Likes/ will dance with me
• Likes movies
• Good kisser
• Likes all kinds of music
• Will take me to the beach
• Will be crazy with me
• Doesn’t care what people think, but will be kind to them
• Sings to me
• Slow dances with me for no reason
• Calls just to tell me he’s thinking of me
• Is there for me even if I just need his ears or his arms
• Knows pretty much what he wants in life
• Will go to church with me
• Thinks I’m beautiful even if I gain a few pounds, because he is in love with me not my figure.
• Supports my dreams
• Takes me on interesting dates
• Non-creeper
• Non-smoker
• Non-heavy drinker
• Not a quick temper
• Likes nature
• Will travel
• Loves his job
• Has hobbies
• Has good friends
• Not afraid to make a fool of himself
• Will love my quirks
• Intelligent
• Witty
• Slightly mysterious
• A Man
• Selfless
• Honest
• Trustworthy
• Takes care of himself
• Non-sleazy
• Confident
• George of the Jungle like (this is from the old list ha ha)
• Protective
• Will write me poetry or love notes
• Sexy
• Likes to try new things
• Nice to me does not cuss at me
• Smart with money
• A hard worker
• Passionate
• A gentleman


I love all of these things that I loved when I was younger. Now I really do think I have this guy. You want to hear something funny? Back when I wrote the original list in my notebook, many parts of it were about The Dude? True Story, I believe that there was one that said "Looks good praising God" Yeah that one was about him annnnddd a few others.... including Good Kisser :) I swear if chapped lips weren't a thing and I didn't need air I would be at that man's lips alllll day long. Too much information? Well yeah, how lucky can a girl be (knock on wood) that the guy she has always thought was an amazing kisser she gets to kiss again 13 years later? It happens I guess. ahhh some days I can't stop smiling..... okay most days. We have a thing. I love you more. He says it all the time I love it! I usually tell him not possible I love you more. Now he says I love you more I moved the Earth for you :) He's meaning my garden and it's true ha ha. He's also cleaned Jeep-Jeep, the garage, unloaded the dishwasher, hand washed the dishes, helped me plant a garden and a flower bed, then he made me dinner. I mean wow, really wow. Where is this man hiding the dead bodies??? Can someone pinch me? He laughs at all of my strangeness and tells me he loves me, he loves how I'm put together even with a little giggle on me. Which I'm back to working on again. I'm no where near how heavy I used to be and I'm not going to let myself be. One of my new jobs is about Sports Performance with my cousin who's a trainer.... guess who has to train now... me.... my cousin is going to make me cry, but at least I'll look sexy. I want to look so beautiful someday when hopefully I get to marry this dream of a man :) We shall seeeeeeee.....


All the love from above Bugs, and kisses, and more kisses and smiles and stuff!! And I need a nap because I work a lot ha ha!!
Amanda

Is it Uteri???? ha ha

There is so much on my mind. I don’t know if it is all the working I’m doing now or what. 3 jobs at once whew... what was I thinking?
Ohhhhh right being independent.... ha ha I’m not married, I don’t have kids so might as well have money or something attitude has taken over me.
I’d like to think one day  I’ll only have one job again, a husband and babies. I had a dream the other day that Georgia or my Blondie was sitting next to me they smiled and said you’ll have a baby within a year. It felt real. I’d love to have a baby. I’d love to be married and come home and curl up at the same house and never have to say goodbye just goodnight and crawl into bed. But all in due time. My life has never turned out the way I thought it would. I always try and move forward I guess, I think I need to relax and be in the moment more. Part of me feels like I’m running out of time. If I could just make it to that next goal then I can take a breather, then I can enjoy. What is my next goal? That’s the weird problem. Is it to get married again? Is it to have a baby? Hopefully down the road. Hopefully sooner than later. I want to pay somethings off so I’m not such a burden in the future.
Deep breaths Everything comes out okay eventually :) I think this will all end happy, I so want happy, I want love, I want everything to be as good as it is and better. Just breathe baby, Just breathe good things do happy good people are real. You are a good person, you are worthy of love, you are funny and caring and beautiful, you are talented and silly, you love your family, you have good morals and character. You have short comings but you know them and you work on them. You are a very hard worker and try your best. You are someone to be loved and you can love and you can love greatly and you can forgive and you can heal.
I am all for timing, I will admit I’m getting slightly more impatient in my old age but found out 2 more friends are pregnant today.... While I am soooo excited for them and happy. I feel like that’s it, no more for this time, every one has to wait at least 3 months to announce anymore babies or I’m going to start punching some uteruses... or is it uteri? don’t know...... but yeah.... had to get that out there...... babies. I was doing soooo good then the baby dream.... maybe there is something to this ticking clock thing..... crap....

Lullaby and Goodnight,
go to sleep little crazy mind,
You will have all in good time,
So go eat some fruit snacks....

-Amanda

Let it Go, Let it Go!!!! My Brain has ran away!!! Thinking Never Bothered Me Anyway.

Since my silly brain won’t turn off today!! Here are a few of my thoughts. Many of my friends have made are making “Go Bags” The have many names, but they are pretty much in case of emergency packs. My in case of emergency plan is apparently find one of these friends and survive. I don’t think the Dude would ever let anything happen to me and he’s got things pretty much down. Not quite like Georgia does.... Georgia has several packs, bags, buckets and shelves of preparedness. She wouldn’t let me die, but I think if worse came to worse she might eat me or use me as bait... Just kidding.... or am I??? 

Thought of this amazing idea when someday I become a mommy. (Nope nothing in muh belly) But I thought this was right up my alley and didn’t want to forget it!! I wanted to write little thought bubbles for what I think the little person might be thinking, etc . I thought it would be cute and I could save them for a baby book someday.
Cool idea right!?

So Easter is almost here and I love, love Easter candy, I know that God and the Easter Bunny don’t have much to do with each other, but I do thank God for the yummies candy of the year. I really love Cadbury Minis and Starburst jellybeans I’m pretty sure I just made myself sick on them a few minutes ago.... gosh they are so good!!

Got to watch Frozen last night with Miss Georgia, which was my reward for making it through The Conjuring. Which was pretty good, but it freaks me out that Philip kept meowing at random things after that.....
freaky...






Random thoughts and sticky pots,
Amanda

Because I'm happy, clap along if you are happy too!

Yes I made all of these... YUMM-O!!!

Ahhh life. Today is National Pi Day and I and well lots of people, but mainly 3 other people in my office a) love pie b) love Dean Winchester who loves pie = us loving pie. (I know that it actually has to do with math but that's no fun....)

So I made 6 pies including 4 quiche, 1 double chocolate truffle pie (The Deen brother's recipe yum!) and a apple streusel pie.

I'm staring at the Apple Streusel one right now but have to wait till 3:14 to devour it..... with other people... I mean I'm not eating people.. but pie... anyways.

So I wanted to talk about The Dude, he said something the other day and it has been on my mind and he answered it. But I wanted to remember what he said. He's sort of a quiet guy and if he says something it's usually pretty significant unlike me who would run around babbling things like "oh my microwave is smiling at me!" (it does I'll show you sometime...)

But we were having a conversation and it was pretty much me telling him that I really love him and that it scares me a little. I haven't really loved anyone but JustAnUglyMonkey and I never thought I would feel this way and it feels very different, but it is love. This love is kind and we take such good care of each other. This love is thoughtful and I don't know a good word for it, safe but that sounds like it isn't passionate. And it is passionate, it's like a trust I can trust him and I know he wouldn't hurt me, it's not built into him, he has a sort of old soul like me. We have a whole set of values that are alike. Granted he's been a little more out in the world than I have, but we both have pasts and we are in the same place now a common ground, we want the same things.  And I know this because he told me so, I was over  joyed and calmed to hear the things that he wanted for our future and that he wasn't going anywhere, he really meant it. I could see him as my husband, as the father of my children, he is so loving and a hard worker. He said if we have girls we have to try for a boy. I would love to have as many as I can and we want. I would love to see what a baby looks like in his big hands. I wonder if they would have blue eyes like him and maybe my dark hair, maybe they would have green eyes. They would be good kids, we would read to them and teach them manners and play with them. They would have lots of love. They would also eat well ha ha.  We both like to work out.... except when its cold... but we would go on walks and get them outside and play. We love each other  and we would be examples of what love should look like for them.

We talked more he thought that things in life happen for a reason, he's never been married or had kids and he's been single for 2 years now and he's grown up a lot, I've done a lot of growing also. And what is beautiful is The Dude is just the type of guy that is a man, he's got his stuff together that doesn't mean I won't make him soup and rub his back when he's sick, but it does mean that I don't have to tell him how to treat me. I'm a lady and I'm the one he loves, we treat each other with respect and love and selflessness and he knows this and that's how I'm treated and how I treat him. We play and joke and dream together, we think of each others needs and they get met. It's what I've always wanted, it's what I always thought love should be.

I'm excited that life is moving forward again, it's scary sure anything new kind of is and there is always going to be my dad whom no one is going to be good enough for me, heck even I'm not good enough for me to him ha ha. I'm hoping it will last, I'm hoping someday my house will become our house like we would like to, and we can fill it with little people and work on all the neat projects we have thought up for it. Starting off with the garden, then the deck and fire pit, finishing the basement theater room and bath/laundry.

It's fun to dream again, a whole new world and life. It's different than the one I'm leaving, I had so many thoughts on how I wanted that life to go, I had so many dreams and I loved them I think I was so sad at never having that future, never seeing those children, never having them go stay with Mama Monkey, no more Christmases there. But that is okay those were good memories that I will always have. Now I have to make new ones and I don't know what my babies names will be, I really like the name Max. There are going to be new Christmas traditions and new family things. New friends and adventures. My story isn't over it's just getting better and we aren't even to the good part yet :)

Bye bye loves, keep on dreaming the best is yet to come!

Let them Eat Peacock Cake!!

This weekend we had a fun wedding shower for my soon-to-be cousin! I got to make the cake and be game master! I don't have many images of the party I think my aunt took those, but here are some of the cake and the Bridezilla veil!!