Is it Uteri???? ha ha

There is so much on my mind. I don’t know if it is all the working I’m doing now or what. 3 jobs at once whew... what was I thinking?
Ohhhhh right being independent.... ha ha I’m not married, I don’t have kids so might as well have money or something attitude has taken over me.
I’d like to think one day  I’ll only have one job again, a husband and babies. I had a dream the other day that Georgia or my Blondie was sitting next to me they smiled and said you’ll have a baby within a year. It felt real. I’d love to have a baby. I’d love to be married and come home and curl up at the same house and never have to say goodbye just goodnight and crawl into bed. But all in due time. My life has never turned out the way I thought it would. I always try and move forward I guess, I think I need to relax and be in the moment more. Part of me feels like I’m running out of time. If I could just make it to that next goal then I can take a breather, then I can enjoy. What is my next goal? That’s the weird problem. Is it to get married again? Is it to have a baby? Hopefully down the road. Hopefully sooner than later. I want to pay somethings off so I’m not such a burden in the future.
Deep breaths Everything comes out okay eventually :) I think this will all end happy, I so want happy, I want love, I want everything to be as good as it is and better. Just breathe baby, Just breathe good things do happy good people are real. You are a good person, you are worthy of love, you are funny and caring and beautiful, you are talented and silly, you love your family, you have good morals and character. You have short comings but you know them and you work on them. You are a very hard worker and try your best. You are someone to be loved and you can love and you can love greatly and you can forgive and you can heal.
I am all for timing, I will admit I’m getting slightly more impatient in my old age but found out 2 more friends are pregnant today.... While I am soooo excited for them and happy. I feel like that’s it, no more for this time, every one has to wait at least 3 months to announce anymore babies or I’m going to start punching some uteruses... or is it uteri? don’t know...... but yeah.... had to get that out there...... babies. I was doing soooo good then the baby dream.... maybe there is something to this ticking clock thing..... crap....

Lullaby and Goodnight,
go to sleep little crazy mind,
You will have all in good time,
So go eat some fruit snacks....

-Amanda