God Givith the Pee and the Nurses Takeith the Pee Away

Yes this is a catheter, and no it does not feel good. 

Pain. That’s all I knew was that I was hurting. I had done something simple and dumb that’s how all of my injuries happen I did a banana jump off of my couch and broke my foot the last time anything big happen. This time I turned over in bed, and then the fireworks happened I let out a yelp of pain and I saw stars. I could not move for a good five minutes when I did I held tight to my lower right side. And tried to turn myself on my back. Very slowly and very painfully I did and grabbed for my cell phone. Who could I call? I looked it was around 10 pm. Georgia would be off, I called her and asked, if she knew where your appendix was located she looked it up and told me, apparently it’s right were I now had my hands pushing. What to do next? I tried to go back to sleep but it really hurt and it worried me. So I decided to wake up Poppi and the Blonde. Poppi answered the phone and we talked he had me raise my leg and push on my belly, Blonde got on the phone and asked me some other questions, did I have a fever? Did I feel sick? Nope none of the above, but I was shaking because I was so afraid. I told them goodnight and I finally went back to sleep later, trying to fend off cats from jumping on me. Woke up still very sore. It really hurt to get out of bed another sharp pain in my side. Got ready for work. JustAnUglyMonkey called MamaMonkey and she talked to me and asked me if I felt sick any swelling? Nope. So I went to work. Sitting down or laying down hurts and then getting back up is another process; I’m like an old woman. At work it actually does start to hurt more, I go pick up a paper out of the printer ouch, I sit down OW! I get up because walking around feels good or just lying down feels good. I get really concerned because it isn’t stopping. I’m a girl I’ve had cramps before this was no cramp pain. What if I really was having appendix problems? It does feel like at any moment, any wrong move something is going to burst. So I call my doctor and they say that I should go to the ER, that’s where they would send me if I came in anyways. So I called JustAnUglyMonkey to take me so that I wouldn’t be alone.  I’ve decided that when I have a baby I’m going to go it alone with just the doctors and nurses, I can be funny and jokey with the people I don’t know. Just a note I’ll probably be shaving my legs everyday now, and I really need to keep up on my brow waxing and apparently I have nose hair, I look at it everyday but today it must have grown about 5 inches, oh yeah and lose 80 lbs, and get better skin and less smelly feet, and a boob job, but first I think I’ll try to take care of this searing pain in my side if that’s okay. I get in pretty quickly and doc sees me he does a few test has me move my legs around, pushes on my stomach and he’s pretty sure it’s my appendix. He has blood drawn and they put and IV in they also get a urine sample… oh! But I can’t just pee in a cup, the fact that I’m a girl has yet again caught up with me and I had to have a catheter. Another really awful experience, but some really nice nurses, Guess what?!? I have a funny tilted bladder! Hurray for me! I get stuck a few times. JustAnUglyMonkey steps out for this and I am glad it was weird. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH MY URETHRA ANYMORE! Monkey comes back in we watch Fresh Prince on TV, and calm down.  Doc comes back in and tells me my appendix is okay, but I have severely sprained or pulled a muscle. Still very painful! But he wants to load me up on muscle relaxers and painkillers and I should be good as new. But I feel awful about going to the ER and the bill might be awful, so I do feel sheepish about that. Grrr ER’s are good for McDreamy’s and Steamy’s, but not for McOuchIPulledSomething’s.

Sleeping Lee (Dreaming of Soap Operas?)

Sleeping Phil (Dreaming of a slide?)

I keep having really creepy dreams. For one right before I go to sleep I dream that someone is going to come up from under the foot of the bed and grab my feet and pull me under with them. Then I’ve been having this other reoccurring dream about being at a slumber party and we are all in a basement of a house. The bedroom is cheery, the walls are painted pink with white trim there is a ceiling fan with a bright light built in. All of us girls are jumping on the over stuffed bed, singing and dancing with the music turned way up. All of a sudden we knock out this panel in the closet and it reveals a space behind the closet that holds one section of dusty off white lockers one of them is open and a girl screams, “It’s a dead baby?!” I look inside and sure enough there is a mangled baby stuffed into the bottom of the locker. We all scream and run for the door we try to head upstairs but the hall turns into an underground sewer and there are all of these giant flat screens on the left hand side of the wall playing a loop of grotesque nun faces.  There was more to that dream in the beginning, someone hanging, and something about a shower and not being about to find people when I got out, but they are fuzzier than the last part. But all really, really creepy. When I woke up a was in this ball holding on to my blankets tight around me shivering. It took me forever to unwind myself and get the adrenalin to stop locking up my body. CREEPY

On a nice lighter note I did get to make Valentine’s Day cookies!!

The thumbprints were a hit at home and at work!

Would you like the recipes? Sure you would J Here ya go!

Sugar Cookies and Thumbprints (I like to use store bought cherry frosting)

Mom’s Sugar  Cookies

1 stick butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs, plus 1 yolk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla (I also add Almond extract)

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 cup sour cream

3 cups flour, plus extra for desired consistency and rolling

How to make it

1. Cream together butter and sugar.
2. Beat in eggs, sour cream, and vanilla.
3. Mix baking soda, baking powder, and 3 cups flour in seperate bowl. Combine dry ingredient mixture with wet ingredients.
4. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
5. Preheat oven to 425 F. Roll out dough on generously floured surface to 1/4 inch thick.
6. Cut out shapes (circles work best) and bake on ungreased cookie sheet for 8 minutes.
7. Cool on wire rack. When completely cool, frost and decorate as desired.

Thumbprint Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, softened

2/3 cup white sugar

1/2 teaspoon almond extract ( I put in 1 t of lemon extract)           

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup seedless raspberry jam (I used seedless strawberry)

Topping glaze:

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

3/4 teaspoon almond extract

1 teaspoon milk

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a medium bowl, cream together butter and white sugar until smooth. Mix in 1/2 teaspoon almond extract. Mix in flour until dough comes together. Roll dough into 1 1/2 inch balls, and place on ungreased cookie sheets. Make a small hole in the center of each ball, using your thumb and finger, and fill the hole with preserves.
3. Bake for 14 to 18 minutes in preheated oven, or until lightly browned. Let cool 1 minute on the cookie sheet.
4. In a medium bowl, mix together the confectioners' sugar, 3/4 teaspoon almond extract, and milk until smooth. Drizzle lightly over warm cookies.

Tips:

Put in fridge for about 15 to 20 min after filling.

Make indent with chapstick lid.

Use small measuring spoon to fill, refil with jam after baking for more :)

I also baked mine in a mini muffin pan and for 8 mins