This is Life

Well here it is I am divorced. JustAnUglyMonkey left a little over a year ago, in his heart and mentally long before that. It's pretty sad. There is lots I could say, have said, typed then deleted. There is too much emotion, thoughts, memories and theories to put down and even then I wouldn't get it all out or it wouldn't come out right. I loved him, I loved him for about half of my life.  I had to die/kill part of me to get through days. I don't know why this happened, but I do know that God has something else planned for me and him and that's where I have to leave it. I have to move on and I have for the most part. But if I'm being completely honest I will always love him or the man I thought he was. But he is very gone now and I have resolved that there is nothing I can do about that. I loved my life I was very happy and was blessed with a new family that I still love very much, so only more wonderful can be added to it in the future. And my futures so bright I gotta wear shades.

All my love and a extra snug hug,
Amanda